It's been a miserable 17 months

One ailment after another and it only gets worse

I caught some kind of cold or virus and started showing symptoms on Friday, January 9. After a miserable weekend of lots of sleep and dry coughing, diarrhea, jaw pain, and sharp piercing ear pain whenever I moved my jaw or coughed (which was often) I decided to go to the emergency room. Early Monday morning, January 12, I went to the nearest Emergency Department for treatment. A nurse swabbed my nose and I waited around watching Young Sheldon on the mounted TV in my room. The test results came back negative for RSV, COVID, Influenza A and B.

The doctor suggested buying a bunch of OTC medications and a neti pot to clear out my sinuses. They never asked me my financial situation, which is poor. Buying a bunch of stuff I would use infrequently and in my experience is ineffective wasn’t something I wanted to do. I was achy, tired, and in pain. I wasn’t going to take a half hour bus ride to Walmart, wander around with all the beautiful people, and not explode into a ball of rage. Then walk up the hill to the bus stop for another half hour ride.

I asked the doctor what else they could do. Blood tests? Nope, because I didn’t present for bacterial infection (I’m pretty sure my sinuses were clogged with dead WBCs). Ear drops, pain killers? No, because they don’t treat symptoms, they’re an ER. That was what the doctor said to me. ENT? No, just go to my PCP.

I’ve been put in the whiny elderly patient category where I get ridiculed, ignored, and traumatized. This has happened to me more and more in the last three months. If I protest it gets worse. So, in a very Jewish passive-aggressive way with words, my new response to all medical providers is, "Thank you. I hope that when you’re my age you get the same quality of care I received here today.”

Over the last eight days I’ve had five light meals because I have no appetite and the thought of food makes me bilious. I can’t even drink coffee, it’s too strong and heavy. I have a cup of tea in the morning, then a pint of electrolyte mixture. On Saturday I did take the bus to Walmart and bought some pseudoephedrine because the ear pain had increased over the Friday and Saturday. However, I had to Uber home because I was exhausted. My dry cough is constant and I woke up the last three nights every 20 minutes because of an unproductive racking cough that hurts my throat, my ribs and back, my ears, and increases my overall pain. They come in bursts of two, frequently. It’s all fucking day and night. Awake, asleep, all fucking day long. My success rate over the years with OTC cough remedies is very low.

I would, in all seriousness, prefer to die at this point. Every pain from my arthritis, fibromyalgia, spine compression, DDD, and this virus/cold/miserable devil produced illness has me aching from head to toe, each with its own unique twist. My lower back pain that shoots down my buttocks into the back of my thighs has been working overtime. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t walk, I can’t be anything but miserable.

I see my PCP and pain management doctors tomorrow. I may not wear a mask because the fucker that gave me this was sneezing freely without covering their face on my super worthless two hours of bus travel on Wednesday, January 7. I want everyone to get sick and suffer like I have. It’s only fair.

Well, that’s it. If I don’t die tomorrow I might live another day.